Tuesday, September 25, 2007

THIEF!

As I drove home from yoga tonight, all peaceful and centered, I thought to myself how nice it would be to have a fresh tomato salad for dinner. Stopping by my little garden patch I was shocked, nay, horrified to find that someone had STOLEN my Lee Valley tomato stakes! I know that you are all just as shocked as I am.

Dozens of green tomatoes were left to rot on the ground. I salvaged as many as I could (cursing the prick and hoping his/her soul rotted in hell just like the Lycopersicon he/she left behind) and will be rewarded with a nice green tomato pie this weekend.

First Lucy gets broken into and then someone calls me queer. What is this world coming too? I hope the same person perpetrated all three heinous crimes as I do not want to live in a world with more than one BASTARD-PRICK-FACE-DUMD-ASS-STUPID-C-WORD walking around in it.

Again, whoever you are, you stink and I hope you die. Actually, give me my stakes back, get off your wallet you cheap bastard, go buy your own and then die.

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Darling--you sound famished---go fix yourself a nice big bowl of gin

4:39 AM  
Anonymous CPB said...

or a warm bowl of Kabbalah

8:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I thought you were going to tell me that someone stole all that new shrubbery out in front from Karen.

4:50 AM  

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