Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Getting Even for Tippi

I don’t know what the hell is going on with me and birds lately, but man, it is freaking me out! Maybe it is global warming that is knocking the sense out of them or all the light pollution in the city, but something is indeed amuck.

As I mentioned a few entries back, I purchased a nice new bicycle this summer. Daphne and I have had many a good times and we have journeyed downtown a lot. One night on my way home from the Little Yellow Bastard’s place I was very confused by the number of birds fluttering about down by the lake. Apparently, all the lights that make it safe for humans at night, prevents the birds from sleeping as they think it is daylight all the time. And let me tell you, it is taking its toll on the poor buggers.

Incident 1 – the suicide bird. I was driving CJ home one day and this bird flew into the street and landed on the road right in front of Lucy. There was no chance to swerve and all that I saw in the rearview mirror was a little cloud of feathers.

Incident 2 – as I crossed the Humber River and made my exit onto Lakeshore, a bird flew (or at least tried to) in front of me. Unfortunately for the bird, the antenna was in the way. Poor thing spun around once or twice, slapped into the windshield and that was all Jack!

Incident 3 – most recently, when the weather was nice a couple weeks ago, I again was riding Daphne along the lake on my way home. As I came off the path and onto the road a seagull came plowing down at me from nowhere and veered off at just the last minute. Now I know I am a tasty looking morsel, but really, bird food? As the bird cut away suddenly, he went into on-coming traffic and met the grill of a truck head on.

I am not exactly sure if these are warning signs or what, but something is just not right. My Italian friends say a bird crapping on you is good luck. What does it mean when they commit suicide around you or attack you? Hmmmm? If only Mr. Hitchcock were around to ask.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

three incidents. Oh my that is not good news at all.

5:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Maybe you were a bird in a past life and all the birds you wronged are trying to send you a message. You better watch your back, the birds are gonna get ya. Or it could just be your natural animal magnetism finally kicking in. I bet you one day we will see a video of you on When Animals Attack. Give me a call when that happens, I could do with a good guffaw.

8:44 PM  
Blogger Blair said...

Birds love granola, and you are one pair of sandals away from being a total granola head. They are being drawn to you, like moths to a flame. A shame you insist on squishing them.

5:58 AM  
Blogger With Love, Fat Girl said...

I love Tippi Hedren! Melanie Griffith totally redeemed herself in my eyes when I found out she was Tippi's progeny.

As for the bird, no loss. Too many have attacked me in the downtown area & environs. It's time we got back at them. Booyah.

8:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

there is a good reason for the term 'birdbrain'----Kill on MacDuff!!

5:20 AM  

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