Sunday, December 11, 2005

My 3-Step Addiction

“Sorry I am so late, lunch was long and I couldn’t find a cab.” Terribly sorry I have been so long in blogging but I have been kept very busy with 2 exams, a job interview and yoga weekend. First things first, during my study breaks I did manage to erect (hee hee) my Christmas tree. It opened to rave reviews and I must say, my favourite ever - green and silver and gorgeous! Martha, call me. We could work some magic together!

Anyho….at this weekends yoga boot camp I found myself having flashbacks to Holy Island. In particular, one post mediation discussion where some pearls of wisdom were dispensed by the Baroness Appleton. I don’t remember the exact words but the gist of it was “love your body the way it is and embrace the changes as you age, forget running out to buy the latest miracle in a bottle.” Now I have to admit that I struggle with vanity and am a slave my Clinique 3-Step. Even in Thailand with wild dogs nipping at my ass I made my way to a river so I could complete Step-1. I have cut out the twice weekly deep cleansing emergency mask and stopped buying Crème De La Mer Eye Balm at $150+ a pop. Baby steps.

I realize that my vanity is buy no means a cheap habit to feed, nor particularly wise. Better than having the fat sucked out of my ass (not that there is any there to suck you understand) and injected into my face I suppose.

Saturday night at boot camp however, has provided me with a cheap and natural way to refresh the old face. Time marches on I say, and lately the parade route seems to be across my face so any help I can get is most appreciated. Suffice it to say that ‘the community’ thought a sing-along would be a good way to celebrate the festive season (Oh for Pete’s sake – Christmas! Christmas season. Call me non-PC if you like) and Mikhail brought his drum to lead us. As he laid it next to the woodstove I asked him what he was doing. He explained that the heat would loosen the skin and then he would stick it outside in the cold and it would tighten up.

Well my mama didn’t raise no idjit! No sir, not this boy. I was on my knees faster than a fat kid on an M & M warming my face by the fire. I then quickly ran outside and gave myself a snow-job. Well smack my ass and call me Judy (actually, you can smack my ass anytime) if the next day I didn’t asked for ID at the liquor store! Hand to God.

Given the parties and soirees over the next few weeks, I am thrilled with this new found regime. Of course people may wonder why I am walking around with a BIC lighter so close to my face. HA! Won’t they be the fools when I rub an ice cube over my face (from my rum and eggnog you see) and voila! – years younger. At this rate I’ll be able to go back to Mrs. McGurdy’s kindergarten class by January. Mid afternoon naps here I come!!!!!


Blogger Blair said...

Oh dear lord on high. Now I've heard everything.

4:22 PM  

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