Furget it!

Last weekend was the latest instalment on my journey to becoming a yogi. Thankfully it felt a lot less like boot camp and more like, dare I say it, fun camp.

I came away more convinced than ever that not only are the instructors testing our knowledge of philosophy and our ability to get ourselves and others into various asanas, but also our resolve not to fart in front of the class. Last month it was chilli, this month it was coleslaw. Yummy coleslaw. And I am sorry, but if you expect me to bring my knees to my ears with my shins on the floor next to my head all the while resting on my shoulders, I am going to commit a fart faux pas. Wait. Is there such a thing? Or is the act of farting itself a faux pas? Something to think about.

One faux pas I should have anticipate and avoided was the wearing of a lambskin coat, fur hat (I know, men in fur look ridiculous, but my fox fur hat is CUTE) and leather boots to a ‘community’ (not my word and I had an aversion to Kool-Aid again) whose population is about 80% vegetarian. At the risk of offending, I am going to say this – if the Dali Lama can eat meat, I can wear fur. And leather. And and and…..I eat beef, lamb, goose, duck, chicken etc so at least I don’t let anything go to waste. Even my pillows are feather so the birds are all used too.

Unlike Bob Barker and his plastic shoes, I am not trying to convert anyone here. Although I am sure that if we could communicate with animals we would find some that would choose to be eaten or fashionably worn as opposed to having their bits chopped off. Do you know how they castrate a bull? Or make a eunuch? No thank you. Stick a meat thermometer in me and call me dinner.

Anyway, after loading up on coleslaw and stir-fry, we headed out for our nightly walking meditation. As everyone put on their Mountain Equipment Co-op jackets and fleece gloves, I slipped into my lambskin coat, fur hat and leather boots and gloves. No one said anything but the looks sure did. And if a may paraphrase Rhett Butler, “frankly, I don’t give a damn.” I like wearing leather and fur – it was designed to keep the cold out and warmth in. And in my opinion nothing else comes close. I am not saying that extremes don’t exist. For example, my grandmother grew up with a girl who was so fond of her dog that when it passed away, she had it made into a stole. Crazy? Eccentric? Who am I to judge? Next month though, I think I will wear my mink yoga shorts and take my suede yoga mat.