Tuesday, January 03, 2006

No more monkeys jumpin' on the bed

When I sold my house I thought I would splurge and buy myself a nice new king size bed to cram into my one bedroom apartment. I had to buy a new bed anyway and had always wanted a king (for me, the Queen) with a pillow top mattress. And let me tell you, it is heaven! Of course I didn’t count on having to buy all new bed linens for four different seasons, but the investment was well worth it.

Being the little Bree Van De Kamp that I am, I religiously flip the mattress as per the manufacturers instructions. Jul/Aug/Sept the mattress points one way, Oct/Nov/Dec another etc. The last two times it has been a simple matter of spinning the mattress with the same side up. With the start of 2006 however I found that I actually needed to flip the mattress.
The pillow top snapped off easily enough but then I found myself trapped in a small room with a rather large bed. If I had a second pair of hands, I am positive that things would have gone smoothly enough. As it happens, I was alone and being Aries was in no mood to wait, nor admit that I couldn’t do it myself. I had managed to get the damn thing in my apartment myself by flipping it end over end, so was confident I could flip it in the frame.

I conveniently forgot that the pieces make up the canopy of my bed were installed after the box spring and mattress were in place. I slide the mattress off the bed and got it on its side. All I needed to do was lift it up and catch the edge on the box spring and slide it over Oct/Nov/Dec side down. After banging my arms and head against the ceiling and bed frame repeatedly (I guess all that banging against the headboard has dulled my senses - ha ha ha) I decided to approach the problem from the other side.

I have a fairly good arm span being over 6 foot tall, but apparently not enough to stretch across a king, get a firm grip and lift. I soon found myself without a bedside lamp, a shattered water carafe (paired with a lovely gash on my foot), minus one lovely jadite bowl and a broken dresser mirror. Seven years bad luck here I come. At least the start date will be easy enough to remember - only 28 flips until the good luck comes back!


Anonymous LM said...

Kit Kat and Little Lord Fauntleroy live about 45 seconds away, and I'm a mere 40 minutes by transit; you'll forgive me if I laugh when I see the gash.
Maybe just a snicker. Hee hee.
Silly Aries

7:07 PM  
Blogger Blair said...

Yes, we would have been more than happy to have helped you flipped about in your boudoir - and now we have permission from your boyfriend - hooray!

3:09 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

don't forget about your golden gals in the doll house , only a 10 minute stroll away ;)

you are too cute, hope that after all that you have good sleeps

6:04 AM  
Anonymous Lance said...

See there....all of us at your disposal. We could have had a good old fashioned mattress rotating party! All six of us, in your bedroom, with the kingsize frame and mattress..... could be cramped, but we're close.

7:29 AM  
Anonymous Alberta Boy said...

I too am only 40 minutes away .... but my nails break easily ... and i am weak ... and my show just came on ... and I'm boiling water ... but otherwise, I'm am SO there

Now if you need pillows flipped, you call!

10:57 PM  
Blogger Callooh said...


I've got a king sized bed too(but not four season sheets, and nowhere NEAR your flipping routine) - and I can do the flipping ALL BY MYSELF (5'7' 130lbs) usually with a dog, cat or child 'helping' ... tsk tsk

and look at the volunteers you had queing up...

10:25 AM  
Anonymous LM said...

We're a good group of people, well, with the exception of Alberta Boy.
Nothing like volunteer work on the Lakeshore!

7:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

darling- I had no idea we were supposed to be flipping the flipping mattress- we just buy a new one or move down the hall to the other king size bed and let the first one 'recover' and 'refresh' itself- however i am very keen to get some satin pillow cases- they are supposed to be heaven- do you have a source.

5:52 AM  

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