The choice of fine funerals everywhere

Yesterday at work was a yawn. One of those all day training sessions - telling me how to manage my people to higher performance. Personally I like to keep it simple, work or get fired. Kind of ironic that I am typing this at work. The highlight of the day (as is usual with these things) was lunch, specifically the egg salad sandwiches – one of my favourite comfort foods. I mentioned to my co-workers that they – the egg salad sandwiches, not the co-workers – reminded me of funerals and that I hadn’t been to a good one in a while.

Call me crazy, but I like funerals. They are a chance not only to bid a fond farewell to someone close - bit like a cruise really – but also reminisce with people rarely visited or long forgotten. “Can’t you do that at a wedding?” one of my lunch companions asked. True, but it is different. Weddings are restricted by a guest list and there is a joyous expectation about them. Funerals are open to anyone who has access to the obituaries and you never know what is going to happen. You may get nothing or you may get someone like myself putting on quite a show (see the entry about my Grandmother).

You also get to sing and who doesn’t like that? I can’t carry a note any better than I can carry a football, but much like the shower, cathedral ceilings make me think I can. Throw bagpipes playing Amazing Grace in the mix and you have the makings of a lovely melody. I only wish more people would perish at sea. I really like singing Nearer My God to Thee as well. Maybe if I’m lucky that’s how I’ll go. Going down with the ship, playing bagpipes and singing. Then again, maybe not.

My favourite part of a funeral though comes after the interment. Everyone retires to the church basement for sandwiches (if you’re lucky, they cut the crusts off) prepared by the woman’s auxiliary, and other light refreshments. It’s often like a proper afternoon tea. There is something about them making those sandwiches, carefully placing them back in the bread bag, bringing them to the church and arranging them on platters with those little dill pickles that I adore. I draw the line at that pickled cauliflower but bring on the butter tarts and cookies!