Sunday, October 02, 2005


Call me a square. Call me anti-environmental. Call me a prude. Call me what you like, but what the heck? On a recent weekend get-away to a cottage I noticed a sign posted next to the toilet stating “if it’s yellow let it mellow, if it’s brown flush it down”. Ummmmmmmmm, excuse me? I was appalled (a strong word yes, but aptly describes the look on my face - I caught a glimpse of it in the chrome dispenser). “I don’t swim in your toilet, so please don’t pee in my pool” – this I get. I think it is silly, but I get it. Not owning one myself, I am not familiar with all the nuances of cottage life. Even so, I was taught, when you use the toilet, you flush it. I don’t need, much less want, reminders of those who were there before. A warm seat is more than sufficient thank you very much. Dogs pee where other dogs have peed before them. Must we follow suit?
Hopefully this is an act of kindness towards mother earth and conserving the precious resource of water. God, what else could it be? Collecting DNA samples to frame me for a crime? Hording urine for future jelly-fish stings? “Quick Beth, stick your leg in the toilet! That will make it feel better”. Dare I think of more? Yuck.
There must be other options. Get one of those small tank toilets. Install a urinal. Put a dish on the tank and collect quarters to offset the expense of your water bill. Hand out maps to the nearest cluster of bushes. Or, as it is a cottage, what about an outhouse?
If another invitation is extended, I will go visit nature when it calls.


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