Robert 3, Wasps 1

I learned a very important lesson this past weekend, Smirnoff Ice and wasps do not mix. IronMan, IronGirl and I headed to Fenelon Falls for a visit with Sauvignon and the kids.

For those of you that have never been, it is very picturesque and with all the rain this year the lake was high and the falls were flowing with full force. After we walked around and visited various little tourist town type shops, we headed to Lake Cameron for a swim.

One of my big fears about doing an IronMan is the swim. What do you do if you are half way out and you panic? Life jackets are not allowed, nor are pool buoys. I know they have people in kayaks that you can go to for help, but what if you don’t make it? I asked IronMan to bring his wetsuit so I could try it as everyone assured me that would keep you afloat. I was sceptical of that however.

Sure enough, you float like a cork in that thing. It has the added bonus of making you look pretty good and the swimming is easy as pie. Okay, well maybe not that easy, but much easier than without it. So I would be comfortable with the swim and the bike, but the run. Yuck. Sunday morning we ran 14 km ~ and it was a beautiful setting; a rail trail along the edge of the lake. No cars, soft underfoot and a cool breeze. Every step of it was so boring. I suppose though, I could walk that part if push came to shove.

Apres dip, we retired to the backyard for some sun and refreshment. Sauvignon showed us a HUGE wasp’s nest that is growing, quite literally, on the side of her house. Part of it covers a window so from the dining room you can actually see inside! Having recently taken care of a nest for the Girls in the Dollhouse with a can of foam that sprays from a good distance, I offered to take this one down too.

My dad also had to get rid of one this year, but not one for chemicals, he got out his shop-vac and stood next to it, patiently sucking each one as it came or went to or from the next. “I only got stung three times” he boasted.

I can say, in retrospect, that fortunately, her neighbour said he would take of it for her so I was off the hook. Still, I felt obligated to do my part.

After I finished my Smirnoff Ice, I lay across a deck chair with the bottle on my belly. I noticed a wasp buzzing around the opening and finally giving into temptation to get at the last little bit of sweetness still inside. Once in, I put on the lid, gave it a little shake and presto, me one, wasps zero.

Now I don’t know if it was the sweetness or the death of one of their brethren, but let’s just say numerous wasps become interested in my bottle. I managed to catch two more, at once thank you very much, before everyone said they were going in because there were now way too many buzzing around and I was asking for trouble.

At one point, as I patiently waited for my victims, I guess one must have crawled up my shirt-sleeve under my arm. As I picked up the cushion from the chair and tucked it under my arm, a black and yellow scored one for the other team.

It didn’t hurt nearly as much as I thought it would and the initial bite was definitely not the worst part. Now, three days later, it is itchy as all get out. I try to gently rub rather than scratch, but it is hard to resist. Dad tells me I can expect that to last about a week. In the end, I guess I got what I deserved.