Suck It Martha.

Don’t get me wrong, I like Martha Stewart and find her magazines and books inspire my creativity. Who can forget "Rest In Peas" ~ a classic! I have to say however, what people will pay (I won’t say what she charges because someone out there pays for it) for some of her merchandise is ridiculous. Her nickel plated brass bed makes me weak in the knees and I could justify that expense. Her Christmas décor, for the most part, is fabulous and doesn’t whip me into an outrage when I see the price.

But some of her Halloween things are a bit crazy. As Fauntleroy pointed out this evening, not only is it expensive, but she seems to have become addicted to glitter. A bright green glitter skeleton for $160? I say no! For a few years now though, I have admired, and for one of, her mummies.

As it turns out, this is my lucky Halloween. Two weeks ago, I mortified IronMan as we were out walking in the beach and we happened upon a store that was having a “going out of business” sale. On the sidewalk was a pile of ‘junk’ that had a ‘free’ sign in front of it. In said pile was a display mannequin ~ for FREE! I know right? What are the chances?

It reminded me that old Jack Handy skit from SNL and the thought for the day was “if you are ever in Chicago visiting the Sears tower, and you get blown off the observation deck, just go real limp and someone might catch you. They might be looking up and think, ‘hey, free dummy’.

Perhaps I got a little too excited but IronMan reluctantly agreed to hold Fred (I did not name him) while I confirmed with the owner he was indeed free. This turned out to be true AND the brand new pair of pants (that are my size) were included AND he asked me if I wanted more!

Fred is about my height, and quite heavy, so I could only manage him alone on my first trip. I now wish I had gone back for more immediately. With Fred complete, my mind raced to a massacre victim with their chest wretched open or a Lizzie Borden type scene in my front window!

Alas, it was not meant to be. I returned this weekend for a twin and they had either been taken away or dumped in the dust bin. Oh well, I would have to make do. For just $10 on raw cotton at Fabricland, $8 on a skeleton arm and foot and $16 on a head for Fred I was well on my way.

Granted, I did have to pay for the cup of flour, and the 5 cups of water will surely be tacked onto my utilities bill from the city, but really, that is nothing. So for less than $40 Fred has risen from the trash pile to this years Halloween centre piece.