Tuesday, November 29, 2011

I blame the drink

Memories of a 45 minute border crossing, mobs of polyester pant wearing shoppers and lines to get into Target, yes I know, are all that are left of last Friday’s black Friday shopping experience.

Luckily, IronGirl still has her sight despite flinging a forkful of Anchor Bar chicken wing BBQ sauce, utensil included, in her own face. We are still not quite sure how she did it, but one second the fork was resting on the wing platter and the next it was flying through the air towards her melon.

At the same dinner, my niece ordered a seafood linguine alfredo. It came in a serving size bowl and all 5 of us could have had it for dinner. The waitress asked if there was anything wrong with it when my niece said she was done. She had fished out and eaten all the seafood but it hardly made a dent in the portion. Such a waste, but no joke, it was a ridiculous amount of food.

I was forced to buy a jacket that I really don’t need. But when it is $80 cheaper in the US and 50% off, how could I resist. Best I just stay out of A&F from now on. My only other purchase, Christmas gifts aside (I’m done!) was a pair of wool dress pants. I found it next to impossible to find pants that aren’t made of polyester, lycra or some blend of synthetic fabric.

Perhaps I'm set in my ways, but I don't like pants that shine. At least in the literal sense.

Back at the hotel, we modeled our purchases and chatted about what else we ‘needed’ to get. My niece asked if I had more shoes, hats, gloves or scarves. Bit of an odd question but I guessed shoes at approximately 16 pairs. I am glad that shoes were not on my shopping list and that I knew none were needed.

Arriving home, just for the sake of it, I took time to actually count them. In my hall closet alone I have 23 pairs! That includes sandals but is not counting my formal dress shoes, cycling shoes, two pairs of rubber boots, ghillie brogues or slippers. And that is following my “one in one out rule”.

I’m no Imelda Marcos, but for man, even a gay one, if you’ll pardon my saying so, that seems to border on the ridiculous. A purge is order indeed. Will those white leather sandals ever be back in fashion? But really, have they ever not been?

My excess of shoes, many from Cole Hann at the military mall, can be blamed on another US phenomenon ~ cheap booze! After a 2 litre bottle of Absolut for $25 and a 1.25 litre of Napoleon brandy for $14, you’ll excuse me if I am a little free with the visa!


Anonymous Laura said...

Your second and third paragraphs had me laughing out loud....seriously. Having withnessed the events.
Yes you have too many shoes.
Yes things will always come back in style... empty one of your xmas containers, fill it with shoes...post it on Ebay in 2045!

11:27 AM  

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