So Sweet It Will Rot Your Teeth

The other night the Italian Stallion and I went to see the Pink Panther. A movie about a giant pink diamond, who could resist? We were going to meet, or so I thought, at the theatre for 6:00 and then get a bite to eat. It was a rush from work but I made it with minutes to spare and was relieved to see the Stallion’s truck already in the parking lot. I dashed to the lobby but it was deserted. Had he gone in to get seats? I didn’t see him at the concession stand so decided to give him a few minutes to scope out REALLY good seats and then come get me. 6:00 o’clock came and went and I wanted my diamond.

I crossed the street to the restaurant thinking I had gotten it backwards and we were in fact eating first and seeing a later show. Alas, this too was for naught. I went back to the theatre, oh and PS, I was wearing new shoes and at this point my dogs were barking, and along the way confirmed that is was in fact his truck. I whipped out my phone (why I hadn’t though of this earlier, I refer you to the name of this here blog) only to discover he had fallen asleep in his truck – seat reclined.

By the time he waltzed in après cat nap, the panther was well underway so we decided dinner first and then a showing of Annapolis. I had seen the trailers and while it lacked a pink diamond, it did offer buff, shirtless men pummeling each other in and out of a boxing ring. I didn’t tell my fine Italian friend this was my motive for seeing the movie, but he acquiesced when I told him it was a ‘guy’ movie. As it turns out, shirtless hotties can only carry a movie so far. Who knew?

Saying it was ‘predictable’ would be an injustice to the word. Trite seems much more appropriate. It had every dull Hollywood cliché you could think of and here are just a few:

1 - Blue collar family where the son (boxing hottie) / mother bond is strong. Tragically she has passed on and it is only the father and son left who have a strained relationship. The one link between them is an interest in boxing. Once in navy, hottie finds himself in the match of the season and asks his dad to come watch. “Can’t. Busy.” Is the reply. Sure enough, just as hottie is about to give up, he looks into the stands, sees his father, rises to his feet. Wow, did not see that coming. Oh wait, yes I did.

2 - The night before entering the navy, hottie is out drinking with friends, he hits on a girl and gets shot down. Next day in formation, guess who one of the drill sergeants is? And guess if he ends up with her at the end of the film?

3 - He has an overweight roomie that can’t pass the physical (he misses it by 4 seconds). Despite encouragement from hottie he wants “some time alone.” This he says while looking out the window. Gee, I wonder if he’ll jump? Sure enough, two scenes later we see him sprawled out on the sidewalk. Ummmm, excuse me dear, but if you are going to jump to your death, you may want to try something higher than a second story window. While recovering in hospital, it is his turn to encourage hottie and states “I’ve been given a second chance and so have you. We are not going to waste it this time.” Please make it stop. Please.

4 - During the big match, our underdog makes a stunning recovery in the final round. Shocker. I was waiting for him to yell out “Adrian” and change into stars and stripes boxers.

You can thank me later for saving you all $13.