Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Tea, blueberries and a tracheotomy.

Recently, I have been reminded of just how fond of tea I really am. Even watching that liquid amber jump from pot to cup is a wonder to behold. Of late, I can’t even tempt myself with that. A couple weeks ago I was down for my afternoon cuppa and it hit me that I really didn’t enjoy the tea, it was the afternoon break. So I thought. On a whim, I gave it up for lent. Not exactly sure why I did that – I am not even Catholic – but have come to understand what it is to truly miss something. The last breakfast I enjoyed before falling so terribly ill I had poached eggs (maybe it's Avian flu!!!!) with avocado on English muffins for breakfast and was ready to kill for some Earl Grey. I am counting down the days to Easter.

Another recent change in my diet has been the consumption of blueberries. Next to apples, they are apparently ‘the’ super fruit. They are loaded with antioxidants and have been proved to preserve vision. Aside from that, the also taste great. These benefits however do come at a price – literally. Those little bundles of blue goodness are very pricey – plus they are murder on your teeth! I feel the pluses however should not be ignored for vanity. I have started putting ½ a cup of blueberries into my daily protein shake. That way they are pre-masticated (so as not to stain my teeth) and my body reaps the rewards.

You may wonder what tea and blueberries have to do with each other. A fair question. Well since I have given up tea and have not been chewing blueberries I have noticed a pleasant side effect – my teeth are becoming more and more pearly white. I must say I am not looking forward to the return of the stain. I was talking about my predicament with my good friend Sharron and we came up with a couple solutions. She came up with drinking my tea through a straw. Well now how silly would that look?

I thought my idea was a little more outside the box – a tracheotomy. My teeth would maintain their new found brightness and I would still get to enjoy my tea and berries. I wouldn’t however really get to ‘enjoy’ the tea as it wouldn’t tantalize my taste buds. But a huge part of savouring food and drink is smell and I would still have that. Chances of my getting invited round to Buckingham Palace would be greatly reduced though. I don’t think the Queen would like to see me, pinky out, sipping tea through my neck. (Those kids at Hogwarts fancy it a neat trick though) It would help with that whole maintaining eye contact thing. Maybe it would be best if I cancel that appointment with my ear, throat and neck specialist. I am sure Liz has my invite in the mail.

4 Comments:

Blogger Blair said...

You could drink your tea through another hole, but you might need to let it cool down a bit first. :P

6:23 PM  
Blogger Lance Morrison said...

Maybe I'll start smoking again, and we can have matching trach's! You think they have a group rate?

5:42 AM  
Anonymous ACPBB - the extra b is for Bargain! said...

you may find it a tad difficult to do anything but suffocate if drinking through a trach ... and hot tea on the lungs is not a good sensation, let me tell you!

1:42 PM  
Blogger Robert Mitchell L.L. said...

oh my...I hope you are not speaking from experience...how did you get hot tea on your lungs? And you KitKat, I got a hole for you and why don't you shut your pie hole :P

3:40 PM  

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