Saturday, January 20, 2007

Get A Job!!!!

Last night CJ, the Boyfriend and I headed out for a bite to eat and a movie. After fetching one from home and the other from the subway we headed for the restaurant. Being a Friday and a pay week I decided to indulge a little and have prime rib with all the fixin's. That included a pint of Hoegaarden.

From dinner we walked to the Children of Men, our movie of choice for the evening. Violent and disturbing yes, but also thought provoking. And Clive Owen looked HOT!!! After the film, we headed back to Lucy - my beloved and now officially beleaguered car. My next statement goes out to the person (you know who your are) that violated my beloved - YOU STINK!!!

Get a job and stop breaking into cars at the Queensway movie theatre!

Upon our arrival at Lucy, I unlocked the door and jumped in. I noticed that my kleenex box was on the passenger side floor along with a few receipts. I thought CJ must have knocked it down with her purse as she left Lucy. As I picked up the tissue box, I saw various bric-a-brac that usually resides in the arm rest cubby.

At that moment the Boyfriend said "my backpack is gone". Lucy had been hit! I sat there stunned. First I was upset that my motor vehicle had been the target of some sketchy hoodlum and then at the fact that they left my stuff in the car! Granted my cell phone is about as old as they come but it was sitting in the charger right in front of you loser! And FYI, those D&G sunglasses are REAL!!!!

My annoyance continued this morning as I fiddled away putting new locks in the door. I replaced the deadbolt and added a second lock. I have been meaning to add that other one for a while so at the very least, my procrastination has come to an end. Still, you STINK!

Nothing of any real value was stolen and we are all hoping you (you know who you are) put on the shoes that were in the gym bag. Enjoy your athlete's foot!!! Prick. There were bank cards (replaced), a gift certificate that The Bay replaced, gym clothing and of course keys. Nothing with an address, but still, better safe than sorry.

Knowing the keys were in the hands of evil incarnate, I couldn't sleep. The thought of someone breaking into the apartment (is it breaking in if they have keys???) while we slept was too much. I tried to convince myself it would make for a good porn plot. Some Clive Owen-ish cat burglar coming into your room in the middle of the night looking for the "family jewels". But no. All I could think of was SAW, Texas Chainsaw and Scream.

I stacked five wine bottles, just like they do milk bottles at the county fair, in front of the door as a makeshift alarm. Wishing my gun wasn't locked up at my dad's, I made do by tucking a knife under the mattress and resting my trusty walking stick with the club handle against the wall.

The Italian Stallion had his laptop stolen from the same parking lot not so long ago. There must be a sneak theif doing a brisk business at the corner of Islington and Queensway. Heed this warning all you movie lovers residing in Etobicoke! Take a cab, walk or take transit.

And as for you (you know who you are) I hope you choke on your own vomit!!


Blogger Callooh said...

Oh you poor thing, you have been violated haven't you? My heart goes out to you, honestly.

I still leave my doors unlocked - trusting fool that I am - and we've HAD the charming company of the SWAT team - guns drawn since we've moved in....(nothing like talking to a US officer in a bullet proof vest and a trained weapon from your front lawn)

Accept and forgive. otherwise you give them space in your everyday life.

and now you have an excuse to buy new shoes, sheesh what exactly IS the problem?

10:02 PM  
Blogger With Love, Fat Girl said...

Wow, thanks for the advice. Last thing I need right now is a new car with broken/stolen everything.

Lucy's black eye shall not be in vain!

8:15 PM  

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