Wednesday, December 20, 2006

I Do Believe In Love At First Sight!

When I first laid eyes on her I felt like smashing a mini bottle of Veuve Clicquot across her gorgeously sleek rounded head and saying “I christen her Mammy, may God bless her and all who eat from her”. Of course I would never do that as I wouldn’t want to scratch the finish or dent her perfectly sculpted lines.

For some years now I have had KitchenAid mixer envy. KitKat has one, LSC has one and the Girls in the Dollhouse have one. Whenever I attempted to make cake batter, I cursed my hand mixer as it whined its way through the flour, sugar, butter etc. When I was faced with a recipe calling for 6 cups of flour I borrowed Lady Fluevog’s pink ribbon version. That was the end of it. I had to have one.

On the verge of registering for one for Christmas (so everyone could contribute what they deemed appropriate) I stumbled across a mega deal at Kitchen Stuff Plus. I had seen this particular model on-line but it was far too expensive. But there it was before me, calling my name! Regularly $569 on for $252! I had convinced myself that all I really needed was the one on sale at Home Outfitters for $296.

Lady Luck was standing next to me that day. Upgraded and cheap! I felt like I had just been bumped from steerage to first class. Even standing in line I started coming up with names for her. Molly – as in the maid – she doesn’t clean though. If anything, I have to clean her. Betty – as in Crocker – but that name belongs to my beloved bitch wagon. Poppins – as in Mary – but then there would always be the image of that Dick Van Whatver buzzing about in my head and that is NO good.

I had initially settled on Regina after the strong, powerful woman from the movie The Little Foxes. I thought it fitting as my mixer is quite the little work horse and Bette is one of my favorite actresses. I am saving Margo from All About Eve for my schipperke when I get one. The boyfriend suggested Mammy as I also love Gone With the Wind and, as CJ pointed out, if I made a mistake with a recipe I could say “If it ain’t fittin, it just ain’t fittin. It ain’t fittin” – a line that always makes me giggle whenever I hear Hattie McDaniel say it.

You may well ask yourself why she needs a name at all. I am not really sure actually. I have always given names to certain things. My vehicles have all had names – Evelyn, Betty and Lucy, my bike’s name is Bob and my manly club chair is Winston. With the exception of that last one, I always use female names.

Maybe it’s a gay thing. Ships all have names, and well, you know what goes on in the Navy. Just ask the Village People. Planes on the other hand are numbered. Boring!

As I said, I really don’t know. It is just something I do. And to me, it “just seems fittin’”.


Blogger Lance Morrison said...

PS: Is 'Bob' a felmale name?

1:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You're getting a SKIPPERKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Oh my Gawd - I can tell you a breeder. can i play with her?
love karen

4:44 AM  
Anonymous Dollhouse Diva said...

I had to ask The Google what a schipperke was. At first, I was surprised that such a fastidious housekeeper would want a dog known for hunting vermin, but as I read on, I discovered that it wears culottes and a jabot, making it absolutely the correct pet for a well-dressed fellow such as you are.

1:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

skipperkes also walk as though they have red rhinestone high heels on and for a special trick ----"show us what the bad girls do" and she will throw herself on her back and spread her legs.

6:58 AM  

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