Ladies and Gentlemen, the next President of the United States

I am not exactly sure why I have a soft spot in my heart for Texas. I have never set foot in the state itself. Regardless, I had my friend with the funny accent bring me back a t-shirt when she went to visit. Maybe my affection for the Lone Star state stems from my association with the Ewing clan on Dallas (my Friday night social activity for many an awkward teen year). Or, I could lay blame on Survivor Australia and that oh-so-cute Colby. Anne Richards and her fabulous hair could also be at fault. Possibly it is the cowboy in me. I mean I love my boots whether western fashion is in or out.

Either way, the Georges Bush, began tarnishing that admiration. Today, the current governor nearly finished it off altogether. We all know about the tragic events that took place at Virginia Tech a few weeks ago. In response to this situation, Rick Perry has decided to introduce legislation that would allow all Texans to carry a gun.

Now this may seem a very American thing to do and I am not going to get into the whole right to bare arms debate. As you know from previous posts, I like a nice shotgun as much as the next girl. I find it funny that Ontario MPs want to introduce tougher penalties for KNIFE crimes and Mr. Perry wants allow guns EVERYWHERE!

At a press conference today, he said that anyone who is legally licensed and has passed state tests should be allowed to carry a concealed gun ANYWHERE in the state in order to protect themselves from ‘the mentally unstable’ the could execute another school shooting.

At first blush I can understand this as a knee jerk reaction to the situation. However, as reporters pressed him for more specific answers, he seems to be taking this seriously. Should guns be allowed in churches? Yes. Hospitals? Yes. How about secured areas in airports? Yes.

It gets better. These are my two favourites – courthouses???? Absolutely. Right because you don’t get people overreacting in a place like that. Does the man not watch Judge Judy? Actually, give Judy the gun. Now that would be TV. But THE best is the Mr. Rick Perry thinks people should be allowed to take guns into bars!!!

Now that would make for an interesting closing time. “Excuse me, the lights are on and you have to lea….” BANG! “What do you mean you won’t come home with me and my friends bitch?” BANG. “You ain’t going to stop playing music until I say so” BANG. “I order rye and DIET coke asshole!” BANG.

It seems the only place he won’t let guns is the governor’s mansion. If you have nothing better to do and a few spare dollars, call 512-463-5516 and listen to the litany of rules and regulations to go on a tour.

You need to book a day in advance, everyone needs photo ID. There are no purses, backpacks or bags of ANY kind, cameras, bottles of water or yadda yadda yadda. Basically, you can take NOTHING. Except apparently a concealed weapon. Better watch how you sit, that enema could be your last!