Absolutely NOT Fabulous

For our first Thursday in 2012, the boys and I tucked into a healthy meal (courtesy of Kitkat) and in addition to each others company, also enjoyed a couple of TV treats from across the pond.

First, was the Downton Abbey Christmas special and like the series, was lovingly better than expected. If you haven’t watched the seasons yet don’t jump to the special or it will ruin everything for you.

Second, and still hilarious, was an episode of the new Absolutely Fabulous. The writing was spot on and brill as usual but the actors are, ummmm, showing their mileage. June Whitfield (Edina’s mother) aside, the cast definitely looks 20 years older.

That’s right. Ab Fab started in 1992! 20 bloody buggery years ago darling. On Patsy, it only added to her over the top, ‘once was’ character and you could go with it. Edina’s work was evident but again, worked with the part.

Bubble however, is a completely different story. When Jane Horrock first appeared on screen I almost dropped my drink. I thought surely it was a dream sequence and they were trying to age her character. Sadly, this was not the case.

Fauntleroy, while equally shocked, burst our little “we look good for our age” bubble by stating that “we are that old you know” and that we were around when the show started. He also asked if we actually thought we looked like we did when we were 25.

To his first point, Bubble was born in 1964 (yes, I checked) so she has 5 years on us. And no, I don’t look like I did when I was 25, or 30 or 35 or anything in between. I still think it’s unfair, and I know, life isn’t…..., that we all get to experience youth and then ever so slowly have it taken away.

Kitkat tried to buoy our spirits by stating that “we all still have our hair” but who knows how long that is going to stick around before migrating down my back?

Acknowledging that the first blog post of the New Year should be positive and upbeat I have to admit this one is a stitch cynical. Cynicism, so eloquently put by Lillian Hellman, is an unpleasant way of stating the truth.

I am just going to say it – I hate getting old. I know hate is a strong word, but it’s not strong enough.

They say with age comes wisdom. I would rather be stupid and young with no lower back pain and good knees that I can still tuck behind my head. And PS, the latest study suggests our brains “start to lose it” at 45. Well now that’s just great…. 2 years after I get my wattle I get to go crazy.

They say with age comes stability and financial security for your ‘golden years’. I would rather be young and dumb enough not to know the difference between a ‘defined benefit’ and ‘defined contribution’ pension plan and have no concept of the consequences of living on credit.

They say with age comes “respect for your elders”. I am only 42 but go into any store, particularly painful in A&F (arguably I should not be shopping there) and every question, comment or conversation begins or ends with “sir.” Mind you, I hate it just as much when people presume it okay to call me “buddy”, “bud” or any other variation thereof. Perhaps I need to print a t-shirt that says “please call me Robert.”

Father Time, I beg of you, keep your Zoomer magazines, your senior discounts and designated seating. Stop telling me, and trying to convince yourself that “40 is the new 30” or “70 is the new 60”. They are not. At 40, you’re 40. You do NOT feel the same as you did at 30 or 25 or any other age. I’ll give you 39 if you just turned.

And Mother Nature, stop giving me lines, sags and spots in places where I Clinique 3 Step. And that is EVERYWHERE. I'm doing my part here, little help?