Monday, April 26, 2010

Lord help me!

Papa is going through chemo after a clean bill of health for several years since lymphoma first reared its ugly head. Confident, however, is what we all are this time round as his health, spirits and appetite are much better. Even so, we are there to lend as much support as we can.

So, this Sunday I headed to the F-dot planning to spend the night and then drive him to Mississauga in the morning for treatment. As one of my dad’s sisters just celebrated her 75th birthday, the siblings invited her out for a celebratory brunch. Mother asked if I would like to join and as it was a great opportunity to visit relatives I don’t often see, I thought it a fine idea indeed.

For one reason or another, brunch became dinner and a not-the-top-of-my-favourite-restaurant-list was selected as the destination. It was the birthday girl’s choice however, so I strapped on my boot flask and agreed to go back to At the Crossroads (see December 2008).

I vaguely recalled the buffet being somewhat palatable so I thought I would give it a little looky when offered a choice between that and ordering off the menu. And when our way too perky waitress Nicole said the soup of the day was cheeseburger chowder (yes, you read that correctly. Really, I know you don't drink the liquid fire, but how much bong water did you shoot back to come up with that recipe?) I definitely thought things would be better at the trough. But no.

The wise words of Roseanne Barr zipped through my head as I passed the “salad” bar ~ “chicken salad, egg salad, tuna salad…..what difference does it make? They’re all just different words for mayonnaise”.

This is how I envision a brainstorming session in the kitchen at Crossroads:

Chef #1 “Why don’t we cut up cucumbers for the salad bar?”
Chef #2 “And add mayonnaise!”
Chef #1 “How about we add carrots to the salad bar?”
Chef #2 “And add mayonnaise!”

I now know who buys those 5 gallon pails at Costco. I decided to order off the menu.

Captain Highliner did not do my ‘ocean perch’ and favours let me tell you what. I managed to crack through the crust but that didn’t leave much fish for my tummy. I would have filled up on the tartar sauce, but I am pretty sure it was just mayonnaise. Luckily I had sauce in said flask so all was okay.

Everyone thought having sauerkraut with fish was an odd idea, but when your choice of sides includes ‘broasted’ potatoes (no Nicole, battering potatoes, then frying them and THEN coating them with oil and baking them, does NOT make them healthy) and cauliflower, I really had no choice.

I commend people’s ability to resist the drink. I don’t understand it or condone such a practice, but I can respect it. But to me, a little tipple enhances even the blandest of meals. Champagne and OJ at breakfast, a little wine with lunch, cocktails before dinner. And if that is what food tastes like sober, I’ll continue to take my meals in glass.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, you're an alcoholic eh?

5:45 AM  
Blogger Blair said...

A mayo bar - sounds like heaven to me!

8:08 AM  
Blogger Robert Mitchell L.L. said...

I see the question mark, so I know it's a question, but it sounds more like an accusation. No I am not...I'll have you know I haven't had a drink for 45 minutes and I can stop anytime I want to...only I don't want to.

7:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

As soon as I read "mayonnaise", I KNEW Blair would get all excited.

2:55 PM  

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