Sunday, April 29, 2012

So wrong

Another season of April birthday's has come and gone. My own auspicious day aside, I know four other Aries who share the month with me. Typical of the sign, you'll note I made it about me.
Despite a never ending de-cluttering and thinning out of bric-a-brac, I always manage to generate a birthday wish list. Thanks to the sleuthing efforts of Kitkat, this year it included pieces of my new tea service pattern, English Renaissance.
Cups and saucers aside, I was treated to bubbles, a bounty of books, shoes, theatre tickets and upholstery fabric that I was told two years ago was no longer available. Not sure HOW he did it, but IronMan found 12 yards. Good thing I still love it!
If that had not arrived, he had a back-up gift all planned out. As you read on, I think you'll agree, it's a good thing the fabric fairies were listening.
Mentioned in previous posts, I have been given a taste of victory in the world of bake-offs and it is my intention to rule the south-western Ontario fall fair circuit in 2012. As I roll into various fair grounds, I thought about making an intimidating first impression by getting "Pie King" or "Pie Queen" vanity plates.
IronMan seized upon this idea, and in cahoots with Baco Noir and IronGirl, started to investigate various names on the above theme. 
For me, pie is nothing but GREAT pastry filled with the perfect balance of ingredients that is as equally satisfying at breakfast as it is at dinner. I am well aware however, of it's other various connotations and use as a double entendre. 
Just as IronMan was about to hit the 'confirm' button on the department of motor vehicle website, IronGirl suggested he google the lingo for the agreed upon vanity plate - "pie baker." Thank you my dear sister for making this wise suggestion and to the aforementioned fabric fairies for finding 12 yards of Bee De Lys in Wedgewood blue.
I would hate to think of the welcome I would get at various fairgrounds knowing that, according to the Urban Dictionary, a pie baker is:
"a child molester. Can be used to suggest rape and child molesting (especially in the movie The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe) when in the presence of small children. God Sara, the White Witch is such a pie baker."
More disturbing than this discovery, is the fact that you can order pie baker t-shirts and coffee mugs from Urban Dictionary. A license plate is one way to get yourself beat up at the fair but with a t-shirt, aren't you kind of looking for trouble on every street corner? 


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