Monday, October 19, 2009

Down With Mickey

Last week I was lucky enough to head to Cozumel for a visit with my brother! He is on leave right now and after the go-go vacation they had in the summer, his family wanted a chill-out type vacation.

My sister-in-law rented a great condo for us rather than do the hotel route. It was right on the water (and had its own pool), three big bedrooms each with its own bathroom and a good size kitchen and dining area. I guess it is not tourist season just yet so it was not overly busy, in fact of the fourteen units in the building, only ours was occupied. It made getting a lounge chair nice and easy!

Every morning we would take breakfast on the balcony listening to the waves roll in and watch the cruise ships steam towards the south end of the island. We learned the first day that one does not go into town while the ships are docked. You can’t walk by a store front without someone offering you 10 t-shirts for $20 or some other equally garage sale bound fodder.

There was a comedian/entrepreneur that at least brought a smile to our faces with his honesty – “come, have a look, same junk, better price.”

Oh, and here is a Cozumel tip, if you ever buy fresh fish for dinner, make sure the fish monger cleans them for you! Luckily, as a kid, I paid attention when my dad gutted the pickerel we caught at Crane Lake.

One morning, a rather sharp looking ship crossed our path, the type of ship that would have inspired the expression 'I like the cut of your jib'. Rather than the usual white from the waterline up, its hull was painted navy and it had a red stripe going all the way round. I was disappointed to see gold Mickey Mouse ears smacked on the side of the funnel. My worst nightmare on the high-seas; trapped in a tin can with nothing but children as far as the eyes could see and the ears could hear.

Although, under the cover of darkness, I am sure it would be quite easy to make shark bait out of them. Roll Mickey for his outfit, lure them aft and play Titanic. Hee hee.

I never got close enough to the SS Minnie or whatever it was to give it much thought. But apparently the Mouseketeers thought they would have some fun with me back here in Canada.

As I am in the process of setting up for Halloween, my fall themed decorations are being packed away. Foolishly, I put my beautiful wheat sheaf in the garage and just covered it with a canvas bag. I was going to re-organize and pack it in its proper bin later. Well! Didn’t I go out there tonight to find much of the grain scattered about and two little black shadows scamper down the wall!

Rude is what I thought. I have recently been scolding IronMan for his efforts of ridding his house of mice. There is no issue with eliminating the little vermin, but it at least should be done humanely. He bought those sticky traps and I think they are cruel. I mean the traps are bad enough, but when he does catch a mouse, he just chucks the lot in the garbage - without putting the thing out of its misery! At least the old-fashioned ones give them one whack and it’s bye-bye. I also say 'no' to the sticky traps as IronMan's sometimes absent minded boyfriend managed to step in one and ruin pair of socks.

It was time for a visit to Canadian Tire and a look at what they had for killing wheat sheaf destroying vermin! Two traps for $1 – who knew? A little peanut butter and I hope that by tomorrow Mr. & Mrs. Mouse while have vacated the premises for that big block of Swiss Cheese in the sky.

And if the traps don’t do it, maybe the impregnated canary seed will do the trick. I hope it’s impregnated with poison or I might really be in trouble. I guess time will tell.

Thursday, October 01, 2009

Suck It Martha.

Don’t get me wrong, I like Martha Stewart and find her magazines and books inspire my creativity. Who can forget "Rest In Peas" ~ a classic! I have to say however, what people will pay (I won’t say what she charges because someone out there pays for it) for some of her merchandise is ridiculous. Her nickel plated brass bed makes me weak in the knees and I could justify that expense. Her Christmas décor, for the most part, is fabulous and doesn’t whip me into an outrage when I see the price.

But some of her Halloween things are a bit crazy. As Fauntleroy pointed out this evening, not only is it expensive, but she seems to have become addicted to glitter. A bright green glitter skeleton for $160? I say no! For a few years now though, I have admired, and for one of, her mummies.

As it turns out, this is my lucky Halloween. Two weeks ago, I mortified IronMan as we were out walking in the beach and we happened upon a store that was having a “going out of business” sale. On the sidewalk was a pile of ‘junk’ that had a ‘free’ sign in front of it. In said pile was a display mannequin ~ for FREE! I know right? What are the chances?

It reminded me that old Jack Handy skit from SNL and the thought for the day was “if you are ever in Chicago visiting the Sears tower, and you get blown off the observation deck, just go real limp and someone might catch you. They might be looking up and think, ‘hey, free dummy’.

Perhaps I got a little too excited but IronMan reluctantly agreed to hold Fred (I did not name him) while I confirmed with the owner he was indeed free. This turned out to be true AND the brand new pair of pants (that are my size) were included AND he asked me if I wanted more!

Fred is about my height, and quite heavy, so I could only manage him alone on my first trip. I now wish I had gone back for more immediately. With Fred complete, my mind raced to a massacre victim with their chest wretched open or a Lizzie Borden type scene in my front window!

Alas, it was not meant to be. I returned this weekend for a twin and they had either been taken away or dumped in the dust bin. Oh well, I would have to make do. For just $10 on raw cotton at Fabricland, $8 on a skeleton arm and foot and $16 on a head for Fred I was well on my way.

Granted, I did have to pay for the cup of flour, and the 5 cups of water will surely be tacked onto my utilities bill from the city, but really, that is nothing. So for less than $40 Fred has risen from the trash pile to this years Halloween centre piece.