Thursday, December 31, 2009

Happy New Year!

Here I sit on the verge of a New Year, my 41st! As I look back over the last couple of weeks, never mind the entire year, I have come to realize a few things:

· My transition to fuddy-duddy is almost complete. Aunt Karen hosted Christmas this year, and although her house is by no means cold, I felt it necessary to take slippers with me to keep my feet warm. Lord help me, but I am a pair of socks and sandals away from following in my father’s and brother’s ill fashioned footsteps.

· I am surrounded by the best possible circle of friends. Kitkat, who as Pink Girl says is “too creative by half for his own good”, pulled together a book celebrating our trip to Provence. I am not talking about scrap-booking here either. This book could, and should, be published and sold at Chapters.

· A 15 pound, bone-in ham can indeed serve as a canapé. IronMan and I hosted what is becoming an annual winter soiree in the beach. Last year, said ham was also served and I feel will continue to grace the table in years to come.

· Wii is fun! Except for the snowboarding game and that is just dumb. Thanks to Blue Girls “lift your heels” advice, I can now easily break the 100 mark in the soccer ball game. Decapitated panda heads be gone!

· 2010 holds Great Jam Expectations. I wonder if Ms. Havisham would be wondering around with jam and jelly stains on her wedding dress in that book? And would her dress catch fire as she carelessly reaches for a canning jar on the other side of the stove? Who can say? But with my new Williams Sonoma jam pan, I assure you all that you shall never be short of jams and jellies again!

· DON’T save things for special occasions and don’t put off today the things you want to do. Tuesday, after my swim, I was leaving the change room to go and teach. Upon opening the door I saw a team of paramedics working a man who had a heart attack while playing squash. We also lost four more Canadian soldiers yesterday. You never know when your number is up, so don’t have regrets when it is.

I am not sure what you are doing this evening, but whatever it is, I hope you are surrounded by the ones you love and have plenty of gin on hand!

Monday, December 14, 2009

I'm One of Them

CJ and I have two guilty cinematic indulgences ~ both I claim with pride and embrace with open arms, so don’t judge us!

First are Will Ferrel movies, does it get any better than Anchorman? I’ll admit, the well seems to be on the verge of running dry since Talladega Nights. Blades of Glory and Step Brothers were not worth the $12.50 (Will, if you’re reading this, you owe me) but “go f**k yourself San Diego" will keep us going back ~ at least once more.

Second, I have officially pitched a tent for Camp Jacob! In Camp Jacob? Because of Camp Jacob? Regardless, I have pitched a tent (every possible pun intended) and think Bella is a fool for picking that goody-goody, paled-faced, mealy-mouthed ninny (thank God for Scarlett O’hara) Edward.

Alice, his sister, is fierce and has a totally wicked hair-cut and wicked awesome car. Oh dear, it’s started, I have become one on the Twilight teeny bopper girls. I lay the blame squarely on CJ’s shoulders. No one would see the first one with her and now I have been sucked (get it, like a vampire) in.

It’s like the Spice Girls. At first, I had to dislike them on principle alone. But every time I heard one of their songs, I was forced to sing along, and now, even though they haven’t done anything since the best tour ever, I am a fan.

As we left the theatre tonight, Jacob fix satiated, I made CJ promise to lend me the last two books. I was disappointed to hear that they do not include photos. I had been hoping for the pop-up variety. Insert your own inappropriate joke here.

Bring on Eclipse!

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Glee Must Die

Don’t get me wrong, me loves the show, especially these last three weeks with all the baby shenanigans being revealed and, Oh My Gawd, Rachel’s version of “Don’t Rain On My Parade”, AMAZING! How do you get better than this:

But stop, now. All the story lines are wrapped up, at least the important ones, and leave something to our imaginations. The only thing I want to see more of is Sue, but she can get her own show. Maybe she can team up with Jack and Karen from Will & Grace for a spin-off combo.

Why must shows go on and on only to be remembered for their lack lustre, rating declining years? Dallas? Anyone? Never should have brought Bobby back from the dead. That should have been the end. And once Jane Wyman went into a coma, was Falcon Crest ever really the same? Twin Peaks too should have been a one season (maybe two because of Audrey) show.

The BBC, as Little Lord Fauntleroy points out, has it right. Their series have a beginning, middle and a not painful ending. Queer As Folk is a perfect example. Unlike the North American version that dragged on only to become predictable and too sweet, the UK series left you wanting more.

Absolutely Fabulous was a tad overdone to be sure, and the absence of any Patsy Stone costumes this Halloween is proof of that. Ab Fab aside, they seem to get fresh new shows every couple of years that work really well and give us characters you love.

If Little Dorrit had been an American production and shared the same success this side of the pond, I assure you there would have been a sequel. Don’t believe me? Was there not a Gone With the Wind Part II? Hmmmm? Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

So, Sue, pack your bags and head to NY (with a stopover in Washington to get Audrey) and start butting heads with Karen. That would be delicious. And you can send Grace back to Twin Peaks so they can get rid of her once and for all.

Sunday, December 06, 2009

Odds and Sods

Well hello strangers! I know I have been delinquent in my blogging but I have been mucho busy! Christmas is here and there are trees to decorate, garlands to trim, lights to be hung and presents to be wrapped! And now that the above is complete, I find I have to write and mention two holiday related stories.

First, IronMan and I lost our Black Friday cherries as we headed to New York (state, not city) for some shopping. It was mad busy and exhausting. After no sleep for 33 hours we conked out and slept for 14 hours! We just laid down for a nap, honestly, and then zzzzzzzzzzzz. Best sleep ever though I have to say.

Around hour 26 we stopped at the International House of Pancakes for a much needed sit and some energy. Apparently many shoppers had the same idea as the place was packed. Right across the street was our next target, a Target department store. Luckily, the line we saw at 4:00 AM was gone and we walked right in.

As I waited for IronMan to visit the WC, I couldn’t help but notice a woman walking into the store with her kids. Now, before I go any further, I have to clarify that I am NOT a parent and therefore have a policy that I will NEVER give advice on how to raise kids. However……

I don’t know how long her son had been up or how many stores he had been dragged too, but let’s just say he was cranky and was letting people know it. Yes, he was crying and yes I, like most people in the immediate area, wanted it to stop. BUT, does slapping your kid in the head and yelling “stop that crying” really make them stop crying?

Again, not a parent, but I’m pretty sure that smacking someone, of any age, is not a good way to stop them from crying. Laughing, smiling or having a good time, yes, but crying, no. A brave Target employee started to approach the woman but she turned and made a quick exit, stage left. I think someone will be getting coal from Santa.

Next, as I sat flipping through Food & Drink magazine, preparing for a little get together, I stumbled across some yummy little recipes smattered throughout the glossy pages – Sticky date pudding with Fin du Monde Caramel Sauce, Butter Poached Lobster, Brandied Chicken Liver Pate and Gin Mopped Salmon bites were just a few things to get my mouth watering.

Once again, not a parent, but maybe a couple of the above recipes would help the kid stop crying or the mother hitting. I’m just saying. In fact, forget the food and just go with the Brandy and Gin.

Anyway, one of the recipes and yes it’s an advert, but still…..goes like this:
Take 2 LARGE (of course) containers of KFC mashed potatoes, add 2 HEAPING tablespoons of sour cream, 4 slices of PRE-COOKED bacon, salt and pepper to taste and chopped chives for garnish.

Thank God for the chives, for a second there, I was worried this was going to be unhealthy. We had pre-cooked bacon when we were camping this year, and, ummm, gross.

Really? Has it come to this? Are mashed potatoes that hard to make? If you get new potatoes you don’t even need to peel them. Call them “rustic” and everyone will think you so clever. What’s next, buy a bucket of chicken and stitch it back together for your holiday turkey?

Shame on you! I think the name of the magazine needs to change to "& Drink" because that my dear, is not FOOD!