Sunday, November 23, 2008

Things I Like (and not-so-much)

New York City! Having just returned from The Grand Pomme itself, that tops my list right now! Mother treated sis and I for a shopping and eating extravaganza. It has been about 5 (4?) years since I was there last and I have to say, I need to go back more often.

Making it even better are gin martinis at Rue 57. YAY! A step up from there is the waiter spilling a tiny bit of the drink, saying “shit” and then bringing you another free one to “make it right”. YAY! Traditional French fish soup and roast duck l’orange with parsnip puree, wild rice and orange segments are other things I like.

Shopping at Century 21 for discount Kenneth Cole (and not reaction) shoes, Macy’s for Christmas decorations, Daffy’s for fur lined sweaters and Yellow Rat Bastard are likeable as well. I also like the fact that people in NY still wear fur! Good for you!

Looking at the statue of Atlas at Rockefeller Centre and realizing IronMan has legs like his is another “me likey” (if I may steal a phrase from Carrie Bradshaw).

The subway in New York ~ once you get the hang of it you can get ANYWHERE you want! Toronto, no more buses – subway! Take the 6 line as far as you can (before going into Brooklyn) and then one stop on the 4 line and you practically fall into Century 21.

Things I am not so fond of are being on a low grade do not fly list. Boo. Both entering and leaving the US I needed “permission” from some mystery person on the other end of the check-in person’s phone. Kind of like the banker in Deal or No Deal. I hate that show.

Also not good are accidents on the 401 when you are trying to catch a flight and you think you have left yourself plenty of time. When you do get through customs, your pants setting off the security guards metal detector is also not good. Having him put his hands down your pants, in front of your mother, well, if he had been better looking, it at least would have had a positive spin. As it was, not a good thing either.

Having a jumper interrupt your subway ride downtown is also not something I like. Nor is finally getting a cab only to have someone parallel parking hit said cab 15 seconds after you start making your way down Lexington Ave. Boo.

Who doesn’t want to be a part of it? New York New York!

Monday, November 17, 2008

Madonna, Halloween and a Bit More

Papi, your last comment is half valid. True, I failed to discuss the concert that was Madonna. She was, as usual, fantastic, but I must confess that the Girlie Show is still my favourite. Perhaps putting in writing will help cement the positive aspects of the evening in my mind ~ spending time with the Papis, seeing Madonna in concert, the big beers (that reminded me of another good concert, ummmm, what was that again? Oh right, the SPICE GIRLS!) and playing the “gay” “straight” game about the people from my work.

Of course, on the flip side, it might drive home the fact that we spent $70 on a “light nosh” before the show. And what did we get for that bargain price? Stew (shared among 6 people) 2 tablespoons of cheese, a plate of fries (they were good I must admit), a breakfast sausage and a glass of pink wine. Oh, and no money for fun after the concert.

However, you call balls too soon with reference to Halloween. I posted on the 30th. Fright night is the 31st. So I couldn’t have written about the kick-ass time we had this year! Smaller crowds, good weather and my Kleenex box shoes held-up.

Absent from this years Halloween festivities were the Doll House Girls – boo. They are usually such a big part of the evening that something didn’t seem quite right. We managed to fill the void, as we so often do, with libations of all sorts. Fauntleroy, the angry Viking, started us off, or should I say finished us off, with zombies; a horrid three rum concoction that I should have known better than to drink.

KitKat and CJ were Sweeney Todd and Mrs. Lovett. His attention to detail and her cockroach encrusted rolling pin got them the attention they deserved. They didn’t win any contest, but I am sure they would have if we had found one.

New to our group were, ummmm, I don’t have blog names for them yet. For now I will call them the Italian party goers as they were dressed as Venetians from long ago. Capes, hats, masks and all, they quite literally stopped traffic.

I myself was cute if a bit boring. I went as Howard Hughes. Dressed in a tattered old robe, I had long broken fingernails, Kleenex box shoes, a jaunty moustache and the best part was a jar of my own urine. Apple juice really, but it had the same effect. There was also Super Lobster. Kind of like what you would get if Aqua Man and Super Man had a kid. And Papi was a Koodoo/20 minute work-out girl. I think the pictures speak for themselves.

More recently, I love these multi entry posts, so efficient, IronMan and I went to the William Ashley sale this past weekend. I used to get so excited about going. The only thing that excited me this time though was the short line. We waited about 10 minutes, but in that time I learned a very valuable lesson. All you gentlemen out there pay attention!

Before heading to the sale, we had breakfast, and that of course includes juice and tea. On top of that was the morning lemon water. When we arrived, IronMan hit the line while I hit the head. Upon entering the upscale Johnny on the Spot I was almost overcome by the smell of chlorine. There were a couple of pucks in each of the urinals and I thought that quite normal at the time. The smell was better than that of sour pee, so I didn’t give it much thought. I did my business, zipped up, washed my hands and headed out the door.

On the way back to the line my junk started to tingle. I chalked it up to that “ahhhhh” feeling you get after you go, but then the pain set it. The tingle became a slow burn and then the pain came.

Did you know those pucks generate a splash when you whiz on them? Me neither! Rushing back, I soaked a paper towel, locked myself in a stall and gave the old undercarriage a good wash. Things back to normal, I got back in line just in time to be ushered in.

Two sets of tea towels and a measuring cup later, we left. You know William, or whatever your name is, just because you put a price on something, draw a line through it and then a lower one below it, doesn’t make it a good deal. And try putting ice in the john like everyone else next year.